Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Sand, Shopping, Sheikhs and Shawarma

This post is mostly dedicated to me, as I never thought, I would be able to come up with, a part 2 of Going the Distances. As the famous adage goes, "home is where heart is" but for an expat the saying, "home is where money is " sounds more befitting

When I first boarded the flight from Singapore to my new abode, I spent 9 hours of the long haul flight mentally programing myself to embrace the new land as my home. As an expat, I really didn't have much of a choice in this regard. 
My first "expat" moment happened when I was standing at the immigration line for my retina scan; I missed the "ladies only" sign and joined the queue for others i.e. men. Having spotted a lost female in the male line, the immigration officer yelled from his seat: "Ladies not standing in man line". The kerfuffle left me stunned and unable to react; so much so that I had only realized how hilarious his english was until I sat in the cab on my way home.  Its not that I missed the sign, I was never expecting it at the first place.



Fast forward to July 2013: United Arab Emirates has been my home since past 25 months. I landed in the month of December, and those who find UAE HOT in December then let me tell you its NOT! Please refrain yourself from giving me the usual excuses: "But I come from Delhi/Siberia and UAE winters are like joke to me". I spent 6 years of my life in South East Asia, and I have no shame in wearing my sweater in here in UAE. It was the season of Santa Claus and Christmas carols, the world's most commercialized festival was round the corner. While the place I left behind was in the midst of making the largest Christmas tree with disposable cups and waste glass bottles, the UAE took the Christmas tree to another level. Decked with diamonds, gold jewelry and gem-bedded watches, the UAE tree looked and felt grander than christmas tree itself. Wicked right?? 

But hold your horses. If you think this is OTT, trust me UAE is only place on earth which redefines OTT. In addition to adding a touch of grandeur to  Scandinavian-grown tree, people in UAE extend their grandeur to their plates or rather what lands up on their plates. Yes! They eat food which is served with edible gold and we Indians thought we had an unhealthy obsession with covering every inch of our body with gold! We definitely got to look up to the UAE for their out of the box/pocket thinking.



In my mind I had imagined a picturesque background of majestic sand dunes, Sheikhs riding camels with exotic Arabic tunes piercing the stillness of the landscape
Beeeeeeep!! Reality check. Forget camels, we are talking about Ferraris and Rolls Royce as the basic mode of transportation. For sand dunes and camels, now that is considered a luxury that you have to pay for. You don't live the king size here, you live the Sheikh size.
 My very first job here, was in the finance department of a  company that owned fashion retail brands. One thing I learnt and observed from my time here is that you don't just arrive in UAE and sell your brand to the Arabs here - You must define your brand the Emirati way. Elite brands have a specially designed hand held shopping carts after they discovered that the shopping style in their stores were similar to the styles in grocery stores. To the rest of the world, Dubai Shopping Festival is considered that awesome month of heavy sales. This is actually the period where the Emiratis take a break from shopping. While people from different parts of the world find pleasure in telling their friends and relatives about how they are looting (by paying of course) the shops in Dubai, the Emiratis are chilling. If you are still patiently reading this blog post, let me share a piece of helpful advice with you: there are 3 seasons of heavy sales here, each being better than the other. So, don't fall for the trap by booking ridiculously high air tickets and paying extortionate amounts in hotel check-in tariffs. Shopping equals to  euphoria in this region. Shop the Emirati style and you are bound to get hooked. 




The word shawarma is not just added to the title on the post to add alliteration ( I kid! I kid! It was indeed added for a good reason). Arabic cuisine  is one of the most scrumptious edible goodies my taste buds have experienced. The list of kebabs grilled in this nation is never ending. The kebabs here are not only piquant but also perfectly charcoaled. For the food lovers, this place gives you an opportunity to familiarize yourself with other middle eastern cuisine like Lebanese, Moroccan, Turkish, Greek etc. Unlike UAE shopping, one can experience two end of dining spectrum - elite and economical options. There is food to fit everyone's budget and agreeable to every palate. Once you get a residency visa in this country my suggestion will be to sign up for gym or may be more economical way is to drink copious amounts green tea. Sometimes, I feel the water here contains an amount of soluble fats (no idea if such fats exist or this is scientifically possible). People here suffer from wasting syndrome, its discomforting to watch them wasting an equivalent portion of their meals they consume. They either forget that half of their family did not accompany them or they are only aware of words like combo/set meal and not a la carte. 



Literally, this nation consumes you in every possible way. You start looking for a "Ladies Only" sign because its more convenient. Not only that, sometimes you complain about the lack of the above sign board. Without realizing, your wardrobe will showcase only branded goods and you forget the street shopping in your country which used to be of so much joy. Suddenly the charm of watching a Ferrari overtaking your car turns into a mere inconspicuous glance. You will forget the day you stopped converting Dirhams into your own currency but secretly wished for it to fall against the Dirham. How many times did you remind yourself that the food here is as mouth-watering as the food back in your homeland? The golden rule of being an expat is - One should always accept, adjust and be open but never too cozy. You never know when its time to pack your bags again



UAE is home for several nationalities, and it has practically adopted the Indian sub-continent. One has to keep in mind that embracing expats and protecting the locals are two independent aspects which are not worth comparing. In view of such diversity and recent crisis that has rocked the Middle East, It is quite admirable to be a witness to UAE's success in securing its political, social and cultural position in a very peaceful manner.  With all my heart (and my wardrobe's too), I hope that stays


Thursday, February 7, 2013

Two Sister - Rabindranath Tagore

First of all, I feel very dwarfish for even attempting to pen down an observation of a short story written by Rabindranath Tagore. But i am going to put my piece up there. Please feel free to comment.



Two Sister, original story named Dui Bon was translated by Krishna Kripalani and published in 1943. I cant really judge the translation since i havent read the original but the flow of english is laudable.

Considerable parts of the story are set in Calcutta and revolves around the elite class. We often see characters of the story quoting Shakespeare and Kalidas. The soft target being women and their emotions. The very first chapter, "Sarmila"opens with clearly categorizing women into two kinds, the mother kind (who drives away the drought) and the beloved kind (who is like the spring). Main character ,Sarmila, wife of Sasanka is the former. Her looks being described as "homely type" which clearly paints a predictable image of a Bengali housewife. Her religion was to serve her husband's needs and shield him from the  societal imbroglio. Even after derogating Sarmila for taking immense care of Sasanka, Sarmila is well convinced that her husband's life will be a dysfunctional one in her absence.



Sarmila might seem to be a very meek character till an incidence where she takes a stand against a top official on a train ride for not giving up her seat to him even after being insisted by the station master and her God like husband. The consequence to this event was that Sasanka's promotion was turned down and an undeserving English man was to be replaced with his position. Sarmila, gave him the courage to resign from his well paid Government job after such a humiliation and convinces him to be a partner in her cousin's business. She plots the events and drags her husband out of the humiliation. To me, personally this is the juncture where I could form an entirely new category of women. The ones which are bold enough to drag their husband's out of their miseries and not let them face the social stigma. But unfortunately, this trait still classified under the motherhood.

The very capable Sasanka proved himself worthy of that partnership and paved his way to success. Soon, Sarmila was a doll who had a task to play and decorate her own dollhouse at all times. The little things which she did for her husband's pleasure were unnoticed. Sasanka started having late nights and telegraphic conversation at home.

"What a pitty! Even in love men cannot wholly loose themselves. A portion of themselves they need must set apart for the exercise of their masculine ego" - Sarmila



A very old saying which crossed my mind at this point of the story was "Man finds his second mother in his wife and a woman finds her first child in her husband". The first chapter ends with Sarmila being put through a social humiliation by her husband by not attending his own birthday bash and standing up the guests. "With loving faith Sarmila had accepted his ruthlessness"

Next chapter named  Nirad opens to tell us about Sarmila's father's (Rajaram) household. You are  under the impression that slowly Sarmila will sink into the beloved kind after realizing that her behavior was taken for granted and the two-sided Sharmila will be termed as two sisters. But I need not go so deep with the Tegorian piece as he introduces Sharmila's sister, Urmila (Urmi). The very fact that she is nicknamed Urmi adds spunk to the character and we know where the story is headed to.

Urmi is everything Sarmila is not rather Sarmila has become. Fluent in English and determined to follow the dreams implanted by her father to become a doctor, Urmi aims to go to Europe for higher studies and inaugurate her own family hospital with her father's fund off-course.
Nirad is considered the ideal man in Rajaram's household. A doctor by profession, his presence was heroic enough to impress even a dead soul and in no time he is engaged to Urmi with the wedding date to be announced far in the future. He is nicknamed "owl" with no age and only learning. Before you get into the awe of the character, the over dosage of his merits push you to assume he is faking it and you develop an aversion towards him.




Urmi's affection towards her brother-in-law is discomforting for Nirad and before this fact sinks into you as a reader you go on to read that Nirad confronts/warns Urmi to hold back her emotions. Nirad earns a scholarship for higher studies and starts packing his bags for Europe. He strictly orders Urmi to limit her visit's to her sister's house and concentrate on books and studies. He is so obsessed that he even hands over a list of reading material. You don't even see an ounce of love crop out of Nirad whereas, Urmi's agreement to all those term and condition can still be tagged as love. This point you start to launch two sides of a man and Nirad was clearly the father types. But again this very concept is not penned down in the story.

After Rajaram's and Urmi's brother's demise, she is the lawful owner of her dad's empire. Nirad's requests for some financial help pops up a couple of times and Urmi gives in without questioning although the accountant warns her that the help will soon become a greed. At this point you are convinced that Nirad is nothing but a fraud.

Sarmila's health worsens and she asks her sister to rescue her household by giving up studies for few days and managing her dollhouse. Urmi grabs this opportunity to get out of the routine controlled by Nirad. Soon Urmi became the queen of Sarmila's kingdom. Although she was not as efficient as Sarmila, but she tried her best. Urmi's outgoing nature became Sasanka's weakness and he gave into all her child like charm. What excited Sasanka was that Urmi dared to even challenge him regarding his own business strategy. Here you wonder what was all that ego about? Sasanka started coming home early and taking Urmi places. Sarmila can see the visisble changes in her husband but makes peace with it after a while. Nirad "releases" Urmi from the engagement since he had to sacrifice for his research and marry a European lady. On the other hand Sasanka's business suffers a heavy loss due to his distraction  Taking the blame of the loss and realizing her love for Sasanka is more than brotherly, Urmi decides to leave her sister's house in Sasanka's absence. Sarmila grabs this opportunity and permits Urmi to leave.



Sasanka went back to his usual pre-Urmi routine which was even worse this time. Sarmila takes a Herculean step and confronts Sasanka about accepting Urmi as a co-wife. You as a reader are astonished to see a love of a wife that magnificent! This step is termed as a motherly one but my question is why not as a beloved? We are  given a glimpse of social embarrassment in her decision as she wants this plan to materialize in Nepal. Listening to her decision Sasanka yells and says he is not a coward and will stick around in Calcutta and restore his business and also asks Sarmila to trust him again. Sarmila begs him to train her to be "worthy" of his love and you as a reader are disappointed in Sarmila rather than being sympathetic. Just when you are about to forgive Sarmila for this, and start feeling "Alls well that ends well" when Sasanka pulls out two letters adressed to each of them from Urmi where she informs her brother-in-law that she is leaving for Europe and apologizes to her sister for the hidden disaster she had caused in her life and tell her that knowledge is what will make her happy.

With this end you hate Sasanka more than Nirad. You feel betrayed as a reader. You again sympathize  towards Sarmila for being the back-up plan but somehwere you know that she will make peace with this idea too and will strive towards being a worthy wife. I think the zeal of excitement between the relationship of Sasanka and Urmi was the missing piece in their respective partners. Sarmila and Nirad were people who saw things in long term and acted upon them with their respective nature. Why do individuals not change themselves and be the second side as well?  Why do they expect the second side from their partners? These questions keep you engaged even after the end......